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Bob Mizek-Menopause for men's avatar

Outsourcing is infidelity rebranded. One can argue that a marriage where one partner withholds all intimacy from the other partner is another form of infidelity but at least that action on its own doesn’t justify outsourcing.

I saw this happen with a friend recently and the results were tragic. Outsourcing is a coward’s way to get what he or she wants but doesn’t have the courage to face the reality of a troubled marriage. It’s not a “win-win” for anyone involved. It’s really a “lose-lose-lose” for all three people and you can add even more collateral damage if there are children involved.

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The Thinking Other Woman's avatar

I'm not arguing any of that ... yet a lot of these people are angry. Many of them have discussed and discussed and discussed with the spouse, even asked for marriage counseling and been rebuffed. My favorite answer? "I'm not going to change, so it would just be a waste of time." True story.

And these people wonder why they get cheated on?? Really, it would be better to move out and just divorce ... but we greatly underestimate how TERRIFIED people are of divorce in this country.

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Bob Mizek-Menopause for men's avatar

I agree 100%. I’ve seen it. Angry. Hurt. Betrayed. Disrespected.

My friend that outsourced was previously told by his wife that “if he didn’t like the sexless marriage, he should get a girlfriend” so he did to show her that he was still desirable to someone.

So who got hurt? The girlfriend and the couple’s teenage son who watches the drama unfold.

Divorce is now on the table… too late.

😔

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The Thinking Other Woman's avatar

Thing is ... THESE WOMEN WHO WON'T HAVE SEX OR ANY KIND OF INTIMACY STILL WANT THE GUY TO BE FAITHFUL.

I call no fair.

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Bob Mizek-Menopause for men's avatar

Not only “want”. They EXPECT faithfulness and in their minds the “other woman” is to blame as well.

I call “NO FAIR!” too.

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C Bear's avatar

My brother told me it was going to take a lot of work to get divorced and it was also going to take a lot of work to stay married. That flipped a switch for me. It’s all just work and I need to do it either way.

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SomeUserName's avatar

In today's era of equality, women are now cheating just as much as men. Women have a much easier time of getting extra marital sex than men do. And these days they are making use of that ability more and more.

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