8 Comments
User's avatar
Suzana's avatar

I recommend you reading “The state of affairs” by Esther Perrel.. it is a far more unbiased analysis of this “cheating” phenomena..

Expand full comment
The Thinking Other Woman's avatar

I listen to Perel a lot. In some respects we’re saying THE SAME THING.

If I am so biased, you do not have to read.

Expand full comment
Suzana's avatar

I apologize!! I made a misjudgment.. I stopped reading the rest of the article after reading the sentence that all cheaters are abusers.. I read it again. And I want to thank you for seeing the gray of these situations and not thinking in black and white. Again, I am sorry for my comment.

Expand full comment
The Thinking Other Woman's avatar

You know … I really appreciate that. I really, really do.

Thank you very much.

Expand full comment
Joey Tosi's avatar

Cheating is a form of emotional abuse, while different from physical abuse, can be even more difficult to recover from. So, yes, cheating is abusive.

Expand full comment
The Thinking Other Woman's avatar

And you’re completely missing my point.

Expand full comment
Joey Tosi's avatar

Maybe, but I’m not wrong.

Expand full comment
The Thinking Other Woman's avatar

Guess what? Neither am I!!

You cannot equate every cheater with a violent wife-beater, which is what this language tends to do. The causes, the mindsets, and the prognosis are way, wayyy different.

An abusive BEHAVIOR does not equate with an abusive PERSONALITY.

Expand full comment